I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
