I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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