I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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