Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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