BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
