His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You're so nebulous sometimes
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're a waste of cheezeits
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
