I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
