im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
