I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
