UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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