there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
