Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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