My nipple is on Facebook.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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