I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
