I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Terrible idea I love it
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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