so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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