You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
