just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
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