I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
