Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
