just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
