Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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