there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's blow job season.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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