im having a threesome with these popsicles
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
