My cat gives me a boner
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
