Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize