I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
