Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
