What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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