I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dignity is for republicans.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
