I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
