But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
