12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
