i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
