So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
