I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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