You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
