You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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