The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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