don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
