At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Success! We fucked roommates!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
