um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize