...so i touched it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
