It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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