so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He kissed a someone with a penis
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
