I am in a vortex of obligation.
Say something about gay babies.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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