Jerry, you need to find god
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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