please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize