He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
