you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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