it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just found puke in my bra..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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