What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
