their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
