Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
