On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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