Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
