FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
