So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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