Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
