It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
