a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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