She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
