You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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