This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
