his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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